A long-winded
tale of traveling from north to south, probably not worth reading unless you have nothing better to
do.
Mankind has made a lot of progress in
the last few years. Amazing electronic inventions that 4 year olds
can master faster than some adults, miraculous cures of illnesses
that would have killed you years ago. So why have we not yet invented
a better way to get from place to place? Faster and more comfortable
than rushing off to an airport so one can stand in line to check in
because you can't print a boarding pass at home if it's an
international flight, rushing to security because we stood in line so
long checking in that we might miss our flight, rushing to the gate
because security took so long because one has to take off shoes,
coats, hats, empty one's pockets, haul out computers, which must
occupy a tray all on their own, and of course your tidy zip lock bag
of liquids, and then finally rush to the gate because now you're
really going to miss the plane, then fight your way down the narrow
aisle to your narrow seat and hope there is enough space to store
your carryon because most airlines now charge for luggage, then get
to your first stop and realize your plane has arrived at the gate farthest away from your connecting flight.
Saskatoon, December 31: arrive at
airport 2 pm for 3:30 flight. Two attendants on duty each checking in
a family. Waited, waited, waited, waited. I think they were taking
most of all they owned, have never seen so many bags for so few
people (I was mistaken). Security was a breeze, for a change. There
was a family of 4 in the waiting room, 2 girls, one of which was
rather undisciplined – what are the odds I would be seated any
where near them? You guessed it, right behind me although the plane
was not even close to being full. The 4 of them made more noise than
the rest of the passengers put together – the parents speaking so
loudly (and singing) one would almost think the children were deaf
(they weren't) and the oldest child was watching a movie that clearly
frightened her as she would scream unexpectedly from time to time. Of
course someone is always late so we had to wait, then de-ice and I
could feel the cushion of time between my flights dwindling.
Minneapolis/St. Paul: arrived late but
thought I had enough time to get something to eat and make my gate on
time until I got in the immigration line. It seems the line I picked
had all the people who had visas in it and they all had to be
photographed and had to be fingerprinted, twice (and even more than
twice as the machine didn't always work). Then to everyone's dismay
we had to go through security again because you had to claim your
baggage and then recheck it and since having access to it, who knows
what you pulled out of it to blow up your next flight. Of course my
backpack was pulled out for closer inspection, the concourse my gate
was in was under construction and there was absolutely nothing to
eat. I am not having fun and I'm getting a migraine which got
decidedly worse in the gate area which was illuminated by the worst
fluorescent lights in the entire world. I needed to get out of that
room but upon checking my boarding pass saw that the fates were
against me – I was in Zone 3, the last to get on, horrors! Not only
that but they were asking people to check their carryons because the
plane was full and there wasn't enough room! Neither one of my bags
can be checked without suffering irreparable damage. I threw myself
on the mercy of the gate personnel, citing my migraine as just cause
for getting on with Zone 1 and they graciously accommodated me, what
a relief. Things were looking up, but wait, we're not leaving.
Everyone is on board but we are going nowhere. They called the
authorities – apparently someone on the plane was drunk, swore at
one of the flight attendants and had to be escorted off. The delay
however, was to our advantage. Just as the clock struck 12 we glided
down over Fort Lauderdale as the New Year's Eve fireworks were set
off all over the city. A grand sight.
Fort Lauderdale, January 1, 2012: Since
I had to be at the airport at 5 for my plane to Freeport there wasn't
much point in going to a hotel, spend $100 and not get any sleep so I
opted for the bench (padded) between the luggage carousels along with
6 other travelers (they had their own benches). Despite wearing
numerous layers of clothing (including slacks and a long skirt,
sweater with hood, coat with hood) I froze the entire night and of
course didn't sleep.
I wearily took the escalator up to the
check in counter thinking I would be first in line – I was wrong,
there were at least 50 people there and the counter had just opened.
There was only one person on duty. Remember when I said I was wrong
about the quantity of luggage in Saskatoon? There was only one person
checking in Bahamians and their luggage. For those who don't know,
Bahamians go to Florida to shop – they shop until they drop and
then drag all their suitcases and boxes to the airport (or ferry).
They have been known to take the ferry to Florida, disembarking (at
night) and then spending the wee hours of the morning shopping at
Walmart and then getting back on the boat the next morning to return
home. So there we are, only 2 of us have carryon luggage only,
surprisingly a finely dressed elderly Bahamian woman and we're both
dismayed at how long this is taking. After 1.5 hours I'm finally at
the head of the line after watching this poor man weighing, tagging,
receiving money for checked bags (at one point he ran out of change)
and listening to people complain about how long it was taking. Twice
a person from another airline helped him out when he had no one in
his line. Finally made it to security where I was patted down. Due to
the many layers of clothing I was wearing I guess they thought I was
hiding something. Got to the gate and walked right on to the plane
and sat, and sat and sat. It seems that right after I got checked in
the computer crashed and the 15-20 people left in line were nowhere
in sight. Finally they and the manifest was delivered – 3 copies of
the manifest and for some reason the flight attendant actually read
them and discovered they didn't match. So we had to wait while she
and the captain went down the list to see what was wrong. So once
again, I am really not happy. I haven't eaten, and have have been up
for 24 hours. We finally take off, the stewardess does her spiel of
no electronics, we reach cruising altitude, she announces electronics
are now OK, the captain immediately follows with the usual spiel,
followed immediately by the stewardess banning electronics as we're
landing shortly. If you were quick you had a 2 minute opportunity of
firing up your electronic stuff – was pretty funny, as was the
announcement that it was a non-stop flight. Plane landed an hour
late. I was second person off, breezed through immigration,
breezed through customs and found Betty patiently waiting for me with
a “welcome home Sophie.”
And home I am.
